A New Moon
by chocolatexsmores
Summary: What if Bella never jumped off the cliff, but Edward came back. Will she take him back? Or will he have to suffer? Please R&R!
1. Break Down

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but, lucky for us, brilliant Stephenie Meyer does

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but, lucky for us, brilliant Stephenie Meyer does! Oh, and I don't own the song Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson.

_Set during New Moon: What if Bella never jumped off that cliff, but Edward came back for her._

(Bella's POV)

Work was a bore, as always. I was getting into my truck after a long day of work. All I wanted to do now was go home and sleep a dreamless sleep.

I knew that wasn't going to happen. Ever since _he_ left me…. It's been about five months now. I haven't had a peaceful, dreamless sleep in all those months.

I used to wish that he would come back. Now I know better than to get my hopes up. He doesn't love me, and he probably never has.

It never really made sense for him to love me anyways.

I was halfway to my house when a song came onto the radio. I turned it up.

_Seems like just yesterday_

_You were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall _

_I use to be so strong…_

_Your arms around me tight_

_Everything, it felt so right._

It _used _to feel so right. But now I know that he never loved me.

_Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong_

Oh, things can go wrong, I thought. I was about to turn it off when I heard the next verse.

_Now I can't breath,_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on._

_Barely_? I pulled my arm over my chest to hold my self together. I'm pretty much _not _hanging on anymore.

_Here I am, once again._

_I'm torn into pieces._

_Can't deny it _

_Can't pretend._

_Just thought you were the one._

He _was _the one. He _is _the one.

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

Not that he would care…

_Behind these hazel eyes_

_I told you everything._

_Opened up, and let you in._

_You made me feel alright for once in my life._

_Now what's left of me is_

_What I pretend to be_

_So together, but so broken up inside._

I'm barely together on the outside… I started to cry at this thought.

'_Cause I can't breathe_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on…_

I turned off the radio so fast that I was surprised that the knob didn't fall off. I was crying uncontrollably now. I tried speeding up, to get home faster, but my truck wasn't having it.

I kept taking deep breaths, I didn't help much but it was something to keep my mind off _him_.

How could he do this to me? How could he pretend that he loved me? A mere, innocent human?

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't pretending in the beginning. But I know now that his feelings for me had died, just like my heart when he left.

I might not have his heart, but he will always hold mine.

I pulled into the driveway. Thankfully, Charlie was working double shifts today so he wouldn't be home until tomorrow night. He wouldn't have to see me like this.

I got inside and looked at the clock. It was 8:30. To early to go to bed. I decided to take a shower. Maybe, the heat can take the pain away.

Forever…

**So?! How did you like it? Review please!! And if you have any ideas, please tell me about them… I'm kind of having a writers block right now. The next chapter is going to be in Eddie's POV!!**


	2. Decision

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but, lucky for us, brilliant Stephenie Meyer does

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but, lucky for us, brilliant Stephenie Meyer does!

(Edward's POV)

I walked through the woods and came right up to her street. _I can do this. _I thought to myself. I started across the street that would take me to her front door.

**Four Days Ago**

After leaving Forks, Washington, my family moved to South America. We had bought a mansion there.

To me, it didn't matter where we went. We could have lived in the middle of the ocean for all I cared.

I wasn't much use here in South America. Alice called it moping around. I wouldn't even call it that. Moping is doing something. I have been doing absolutely nothing.

I don't talk to any body unless asked a direct question, and spent most of my days in my room, staring at the wall.

I missed her.

I more than missed her. I can't even put into words how I feel. I would be better off dead.

Esme is always telling me that we can always go back. But, I can't. Not after what I did to Bella. My Bella. The love of my existence.

I got up off my couch and went over to my CD wall. Thinking about Bella too much just made me more depressed. It doesn't help that everyone else thinks about her too.

Even Rosalie wishes Bella were back. Not because she likes her, she tells herself, or me. But because I was happier with her. But this wasn't about me. This is about Bella being safe.

And, the only way for her to keep safe was for me to take myself out of her life. She wouldn't have done it herself, so I had to do it for her.

I turned to my piano. It's now in my room. It's the only other thing I do. I sat down on the bench and stroked the keys absent- mindedly. I was thinking about Bella. Her hair, smile, eyes, the way she blushed when I touched her, her sleep talking, her clumsiness, I even missed her truck…

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed when my random stroking turned into something composed. Her lullaby. I stopped right when I noticed this.

"UGH!" I groaned and smashed my hand onto the piano. It went through. I turned around when I heard a sad giggle in the doorway. Alice was standing there, watching for who knows how long.

"Haven't heard you play _that _song in a while…" she said while walking into my room and sitting on my couch. I didn't have a bed in my room anymore. There was no need for one now…

"It's not too late, you know. You can still go to her…" I smiled sadly at my little sister. She seemed to be the only one who understood, yet she didn't.

"I can't. I've broken her heart. I can't just walk into her life like everything is alright. She's probably moved on anyways. And it's safer this way." I said quietly while looking at my hands. In them was one of Bella's shirts that Alice had found in her room.

I imagined how Bella would have pouted, her perfect bottom lip out, when Alice tried to change her outfit…

I shook my head, trying to clear the memory. "You know it's not safer this way. You saw my vision when James came back. And I know," she added when she saw that I was going to interrupt "that the dogs took care of him, but, Edward. She needs you. You need her. You complete each other…"

I thought this over. I was never good enough for Bella, but Alice was right in that Bella completed me. I've never felt so useless in all my hundred years of living.

"… and, just so you know… she hasn't moved on…" said Alice. She started to get up but I pulled her arm to sit her back down.

"Have you been checking her future, Alice?? You know I told you not to!" I started to get angry.

"Hey! I can't help some things that I see!! But… yes, I have been checking, But only because she's my little sister, no matter if she's in your life or not!!"

I stood up so that I was towering over Alice, glaring at her. "She will _always _be in my life, _Alice_. I will _never _forget her. Nor do I _want _to. I _love _her" I growled through my teeth.

Alice stood up and cupped her ear with her hand. "What did you say, Eddie- kinz? That you LOVE her?!" she asked innocently. I blinked, confused. "Yes? And don't call me that."

"Well, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, if two people love each other, do you think that should be together?"

"Yes, but-"

"See?! Now go to her."

"No."

"Why. Not." she growled.

I sighed. "… I can't… I broke her heart… she'll never love me again…" I could tell that she could tell that she was winning. I could feel every part of me begging me to let her win and go to Bella.

"From my visions, She. Still. Loves. You" While she was saying this she was coming closer, and I was backing away. I was right in front of the open window now.

"Go to her." She said and then pushed me out the window. I fell onto the ground on my back. I stood up and was about to climb up the wall when Alice jumped down beside me.

"Edward! Don't you want to try and win her back?"

"Yes, but-"

"But what? What other excuse could you possibly use? That she won't love you back? Highly doubtful."

"Oh yeah!!" I yelled. "And, what if she DOESN"T love me back anymore? Huh?"

"Well, that's something you need to find out, now isn't it?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And so here I was, one foot in the street that would take me up to her front door, and one foot safely on the sidewalk.

I could see her truck in the driveway and no police cruiser. Charlie wasn't home. That was good. I don't know what I would do if he was home.

I started to walk across the street when it started to rain, no _downpour_ would be the right term. I looked around and then ran at vampire speed to the door. I inhaled her sweet freesia scent that I could smell from even outside.

I sighed. No one knew how much I had craved for this smell, day after day. Night after night. At that moment I felt so happy that I felt like breaking down the door, running in and saying "Honey!! I'm hooommmeee!!" **(A/N: From I Love Lucy. Which I don't own) **

I took a deep breath, and then put my fist up to the door.

**Cliffy, I know. Review please!! if anyone has any ideas, I'd like to know them!! Thanks.**


	3. Tears

Disclaimer- I'm really sick of these things

Disclaimer- I'm really sick of these things. I don't own Twilight.

_I started to walk across the street when it started to rain, no downpour would be the right term. I looked around and then ran at vampire speed to the door. I inhaled her sweet freesia scent that I could smell from even outside._

_I sighed. No one knew how much I had craved for this smell, day after day. Night after night. At that moment I felt so happy that I felt like breaking down the door, running in and saying "Honey!! I'm hooommmeee!!" __**(A/N: From I Love Lucy. Which I don't own) **_

_I took a deep breath, and then put my fist up to the door._

(Bella POV)

I got out of the shower and dried my hair. The heat eased some of my pain, but not all. I went to my room and grabbed my algebra homework.

I went downstairs and sat on the chair at the table. I stared at my homework for a long time, not taking any of it in. Five minutes went by.

I sighed and grabbed my pencil. I concentrated as hard as I could on the first problem. "Ugh!" I groaned in frustration when none of the work was processing in my brain. I threw the pencil down on the ground and it snapped in two.

"Stupid pencil…" I muttered to myself.

I got up and stretched. At this rate I was never going to get any of my homework done.

I opened the fridge and grabbed an apple. I looked at it and then put it back. I was not in the mood to eat. Not even comfort food.

I went over to the couch and turned on the TV. There was a sitcom on. I watched it for 20 minutes, not laughing or even smiling at the funny parts. Geez, I really needed to do something with my life.

I turned off the TV and looked out the window. Maybe I could go for a walk- NOPE! It started down pouring right when I thought about going outside.

I looked up at the sky (well, the ceiling). Someone up there must really not want me to have a good, fulfilled life. Maybe it was one of the three goldfish that I kept forgetting to feed when I was a kid.

"I'm sorry, Goldie's" I said. I laughed at myself. How sad. Talking to dead _goldfish_. I grabbed my keys and started to go towards the door. Maybe a trip to Seattle or someplace was all I needed.

I almost reached the door knob when somebody knocked on the door. I took an involuntary step back. I didn't know if I should answer the door. I was home alone.

I gave up after two more quick, impatient raps. They know I'm here! I thought, well, worried. I shook my head in disbelief (need a life!!) and opened it.

There stood… I couldn't believe it.

The UPS guy. **(A/N: HA HA!! I fooled you!!) **

It was a package from my mom and Phil. I signed and then took the package.

I put it on the table and opened it. It was a photo album of my mom and Phil. I smiled at how happy they looked. I looked at all the pictures. There were 34 of them. In everyone, they had the same love sick smile and goo-goo eyes.

Out of nowhere, some water fell on the picture. And then some more. I looked up at the ceiling. Maybe Charlie had a leak. No leak.

I looked back down and more fell. It was then that I realized the water was tears. I was crying. A lot. More tears started to fall. I sat down on the chair and wiped at the tears. More took their place.

I didn't know why I was crying. I took deep breaths. _Oh…_ I thought. I knew why I was crying. When I took another deep breath, the sides of the hole throbbed. I wrapped my arm around my chest to hold myself together.

That made me cry even more. I looked out the window. It had stopped raining, but I knew it would start again soon. Maybe the rain was from the goldfish crying with me. Maybe they felt bad for torturing me.

_Torturing._

Someone else was torturing me. Though he didn't know it…

Tears kept falling even though I kept wiping them away.

Then, someone knocked on the door.

Two quick raps, then one slower one towards the end. Almost as if that person weren't sure they wanted to be here.

I got up and walked to the door, wiping tears that kept falling while I went. I tried to think of what I would say: _I was just watching a movie, the dog died. _Yeah. That sounded good enough.

Still wiping at tears that refused to be removed, I turned the door knob, and pulled.

I gasped. Their stood my angel. I didn't remember falling asleep. This has to be a dream. Oh. I just wished it didn't turn into a nightmare.

I looked at _his_ (I guess I could say it now, since he was here) _Edward's_ face. My dreams and thoughts did not do him justice. I closed my eyes and took in a quiet breath through my nose. Smelling his perfect scent as I did.

I could almost taste it on my tongue.

I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me. His eyes looked relieved, and then surprised. He saw the tears. He reached out his hand. And then pulled it back. His hand was in the air in between us now.

He looked hesitant, as if he was deliberating in his mind.

His hand reached out towards me again. I wanted nothing more than his ice cold fingers to brush away the tears. I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms. But, I knew that if this was a dream, then I would pay for it when I woke.

So, even though every cell in my body was protesting, I took a step back.

I pinched my self on my arm when he looked at his hand, now where I used to stand, and didn't wake up. Soooo… this wasn't a dream…

I didn't want to hear the reason he came here. It must be bad since he doesn't love me any more. Maybe he wanted to apologize for what he did. Maybe he felt guilty. Whatever it was, I didn't want to hear any more bad news that would have me curled up in a ball, holding myself together for the next how many months.

So, when he withdrew his hand, I took another step back, and then another.

"Bella…" Edward murmured.

**So? Good, bad, okay, boring, REVIEW!!**


	4. Hate is a Strong Word

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight. I'm really sorry to all my fans for not updating in a really long time but I have school and a LOT of homework.**

From last chapter:

_I didn't want to hear the reason he came here. It must be bad since he doesn't love me any more. Maybe he wanted to apologize for what he did. Maybe he felt guilty. Whatever it was, I didn't want to hear any more bad news that would have me curled up in a ball, holding myself together for the next how many months._

_So, when he withdrew his hand, I took another step back, and then another._

"_Bella…" Edward murmured._

(Bella's POV)

"Bella…" I heard him say. He started walking towards me. I wanted to run. I wasn't sure where though, either to or away from him. Then, something happened that I hadn't felt in a long time; my heart beating.

The world seemed to slow as I thought. I new for a fact that my heart was trying hard to heal itself. It was being tricked by my mind. I was getting too close to loving him again, I could feel it.

I knew deep down inside that I had to find a way to run, before my slowly healing heart was broken again. Looking at his face right now and his eyes warm, it was easy to think back to all the good times and not feel pain just happiness.

But, I knew that if I let it go on too long, my heart would heal, and after Edward tells me what he came here to tell me and left, I don't know if my heart will break again. I think it will just die.

My mind seemed to catch up with my train of thought and so did my heart, I could feel it stop healing and hold it's place; no longer pain, but not healed.

Something inside of me allowed me to get access to my feet and then the world went back to normal speed.

In the normal world, Edward was still walking towards me.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. What have I done?" he looked so sad and pained that I almost, _almost_ forgot about my newly achieved access to my legs. I caught my self just in time though.

Next thing I knew, I was high tailing it to the back door. I opened it and ran outside. Some small insight in my mind realized that I had not tripped once, but I think my body realized the danger of the pain that was sure to come and decided to relive me of my horrible clumsiness curse.

I was more than grateful as I ran through the thick leaves and jumped over roots.

I stopped abruptly. Why was I running? Edward may be a vampire, but he was raised well. All I have to do is tell him to leave right?

Wrong. He had followed me into the woods and was now standing in front of me. He looked hurt. I had to look away from his gorgeous face before I fell apart.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "What do you want, Edward?" I said in a voice that was stronger than I would have thought possible in my situation.

Edward looked stunned and remained speechless. Finally after my glaring he fell to his knees. I was surprised. I didn't expect that from Edward, the most well put together in any situation vampire.

I was about to kneel down next to him but didn't. I stood in front of him just looking in shock.

His head was in his hands and he kept repeating over and over again to himself "What have I done? What have I done?"

He looked like he was in such immense pain this time that I couldn't help but to kneel down next to him. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter Edward? Just say what you need to say and then you can be on your way. Just say it. I won't ask questions."

Edward didn't respond so I continued. "Okay, you were probably going to say either something along the lines of 'I'm sorry. Here's an explanation', or like 'I hate you'. Either way just say it to get it off your chest I can handle it, seriously…"

The last word droned out when Edward's head snapped up with such force that it would have given a human whiplash.

I slid back against a tree when I saw his face. His nostrils were flared, his eyes were tight, and his lips were curled back over his teeth. For a second, if I hadn't known Edward better, I would have thought he was about to attack.

I could hear my heart beating unnaturally fast and I was sure he could to.

Edward finally spoke, but it was through his teeth. "You thought I came here. Only to tell you, I _HATED _you?!?!?" he asked with so much fire and hatred in his voice that by this point my only thought of his anger was because he wanted to replace _hated _with _loathed_.

I was so stunned by his abrupt change in attitude that it took me a second to get my bearings and answer, "y-yes?"

Suddenly in a movement that I had to keep my eyes open or I would have missed it, Edward stood up. I would have too, if I wasn't scared out of my wits right now.

He glared down at me and the only thing I could say was "loathe?" But that sent him over the edge. I could literally see something inside of him snap. He looked like he was ready to yell but then suddenly his face changed. It was softer.

He bent down so that his face was mere centimeters in front of mine. This time I really could taste his breath on my tongue. I started to feel dizzy.

"Breathe Bella…" Edward whispered. I took in a ragged breath. I saw Edward's eyes close and he inhaled deeply.

"Mmm… I missed that" I knew he was talking about the scent of my blood but for a second I wished it was me he was talking about. I waited as patiently as I could for his eyes to open and for him to say what he needed to say.

But, after a few minutes without his eyes opening I stood up and rubbed the dirt of my jeans. He looked up at me. "Can you please just say what you came here to say?" I didn't want to rush him because I didn't want him to leave yet, but I didn't want to get my hopes up and then hear him say _I'm sorry Bella, but I never did love you. Move on with your life now. Good bye forever._

He stood up slowly for a vampire and then walked forward until he was right in front of me and I could feel the coldness coming off his body.

He picked a piece of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. I shivered. He looked down and started his reason.

"When I left you four months ago, I never intended for you to be like this. I meant for you to move on. Live a normal human life. I couldn't stay with you for much longer after I realized that this is what I wanted for you. Maybe not me, but for you." I stood speechless, waiting for the bullet to hit home.

"I meant to never come back, you remember," he gave a short humorless laugh "so you wouldn't have to ever remember a monster like me. I tried to not think of you too much, but me being as obsessed and in love with you as I am, I found it impossible."

None of this was registering. He came here to tell me that he hated, even loathed me, and now he's saying that he's in love with me still? No, I must not have heard right.

"Everything I did, which wasn't much, you were always with me. I couldn't play the piano anymore, I couldn't watch TV, I couldn't even be in the same room as my family when they were with their other half."

He looked at me ashamed, but who was I to judge. I still didn't even know what was going on.

"Because you were and still are my other half, no matter if I was still in _your_ life, you were still in mine. So, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll do anything. But, if you can't then I guess that's fair."

He was looking at me like he was waiting for an answer. "W-what?" I asked trying to clear out the fog that was omitting my train of thought.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked tilting his head to the side. He looked so sad that it was hard to say no. I was still trying to get my train of thought together.

After a few minutes of me thinking and Edward getting visibly impatient I had an answer.

"No." Edward looked up at the sky and I felt very awkward. "Let me explain." I continued. Edward looked at me with a tortured expression. "When you left, it broke me. I literally died inside. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't do anything. I was practically a nothing. If I just let you back into my life and you leave me again, I don't think I would be able to live through that again. No, I don't think, I know. This was… hard… for me. And I can't let myself get my hopes up to be crushed again. I'm sorry." I looked down, by now I was tearing up.

"Bella. You don't understand. I'm not trying to change your mind, I respect your decision and think it is more than reasonable. A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you. But I do need to set something straight. I would never, could never leave you again.

"It was extremely hard and painful for me too. Your memories fade over time, mine never will. If I left you again I would die. No not even die. I just would disappear. Dying is doing something to relieve the pain. So, you see, there would be no possible way for me to leave you ever again."

I looked up at him and he was staring intently down at me beneath his lashes. "I don't know.." I said, still more than a little confused.

"Fine, I'll leave. Just, I have to do something first." he put his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. I slammed into his rock hard body. I blushed feverishly. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

I knew he was intending to kiss me but I couldn't let him. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself. Deep inside though, my body was craving for his lips against mine.

"Forgive me for this, but you won't be able to stop me." He said and then kissed me.

This kissed crossed _all_ his boundaries. It was so deep that I almost _had_ to give in, but I stayed strong. No matter how much I wanted to kiss him back I needed to get him to stop so I wouldn't be curled up in a tight ball tonight crying my eyes out.

I pushed against his grip but he only growled into my mouth angrily, so I just gave up. I didn't kiss him back but I didn't resist either. This time _I_ was the statue. He stopped kissing after a while and took a step back. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. But I couldn't help myself." I shrugged. I didn't mind at all, just my mind. "Alright, well I'll leave now. I love you Isabella Marie Swan, and I'll never stop for all eternity."

He turned around and ran away.

**Ohhhh a cliffy. I know. I'm evil. Review please, no flames, though.**


	5. Change

**OMG finally, here is your next chapter.**

From last chapter:

_He stopped kissing after a while and took a step back. I opened my eyes and looked at him. _

_He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. But I couldn't help myself." I shrugged. I didn't mind at all, just my mind. "Alright, well I'll leave now. I love you Isabella Marie Swan, and I'll never stop for all eternity." _

_He turned around and ran away._

**Your much deserved chapter 5:**

I walked back inside and sat at the kitchen. I got a glass of milk and put it in front of me on the table. I sat down and just stared at it.

I was still confused about what had just gone on. I did believe Edward, sort of, about him not leaving me any more. But I couldn't take the chance.

For some reason I started crying again. My heart did not feel whole or broken anymore. It just wasn't there.

Where was it, then? Every time after he left when I thought it wasn't there, I could still feel it beating. But not now. Now it just wasn't there.

At first, my thought was _Am I dead?_ but then I realized that I wasn't because I could still move and drink. I picked up my milk and took a sip just to make sure.

I spit it out and started crying.

"That tastes so gross….." I sobbed uncontrollably. I knew that it wasn't the taste of the milk. I've accidentally drunk sour milk before and I didn't cry. So why was I crying now?

I stopped sobbing but the tears were still rolling down my face. My head fell on the table in my arms and I started crying again.

"Edward…" I kept mumbling to myself until I fell asleep.

_Edward. Edward. "Edward". "Edward!" I yelled louder but he never heard me. I started to cry. "Edward, I'm sorry. Please! Don't leave again!" He started to disappear. I was then running on a road but I wasn't moving anywhere. Edward was standing not even 20 yards away smiling sadly at me with his generous arms open wide for me, but no matter how much faster I ran, I still never got anywhere. I looked down at my feet and realized that they were stuck to the road. I tried to wriggle my feet out and eventually they came out. Edward's face brightened considerably and I gave a small cry. I ran right to him. He was still only 20 yards away but I got right in front of him faster. He lunged out to grab me but something happened. My heart came out of my chest and fluttered over to Edward. My dream-like person took this as an advantage and while Edward was busy watching it, I turned and ran away. "Bella…" I heard him call softly after me-_

"NO!!" I yelled. My head jerked up and I realized that I was still in the kitchen. I went upstairs to bed confused and silently crying. I lay down thinking my dream over in my head.

Why would I run away from him? His voice and face was so torn when I ran…

I was half asleep when I thought this but I sprang up. Why was _I_ running away from him?!?!? I didn't know, but I was being stupid for it…

Right when I realized this, my heart made a huge leap, and it felt _good. Whole…_

I jumped out of bed and immediately got a head rush from the sudden movement. Rain plummeted down on the roof. I would have groaned if it was any other day, but I ignored it and ran down the stairs. I almost fell but I grabbed the railing at the last minute and steadied myself.

I was about to open the door when I realized that I had no idea where he was. My head fell and I could feel the tears coming. I started to turn around when the door bell rang. Time seemed to stop.

I was having serious de-ja vu, but that was only because this really did happen not just a few hours ago.

I turned the door knob slowly, seemingly lost and confused, my hand stayed on the door knob, which was fully turned. I opened the door a little and then stood back. I watched it swing open with cautious eyes.

"Bella…?" Edward.

I took a few more steps back. "Yes?" I said, trying to keep my voice at a reasonable level.

Edward stepped inside, rain dripping off his hair and clothes. He was relatively dry considering the rain I had heard.

He looked down, sighed, and then looked up at me with sad eyes. "I just came to say that I was sorry for… kissing you."

Edward studied me with his eyes in a way that made me feel self-conscious. "I am truly sorry Bella. For everything… And I promise you that you won't see me anymore."

Hearing the pain in his voice killed me. I wanted to run up to him and smack some sense into him. I wanted him to say my name again…I wanted him to kiss me again…

"Edward! Wait!" I looked up expecting to see him standing there, but he wasn't. I looked out the window and saw his Volvo speeding down the street.

I ran up to my room and lay in bed. My eyes were tear stained and my clothes were cold and uncomfortable.

I looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. I started to doze off when I felt that I wasn't alone. I sat up in bed and looked around.

Someone was sitting in the rocking chair. "Edward?" I asked into the dark.

"Yes, Bella." Edward's voice sounded pained, unsure. I wondered why...

"Um… What are you doing here?" I heard him sigh and a creak from the rocking chair told me he was moving. At first I thought he was leaving and my heart almost stopped when I thought he took that the wrong way, but then I felt something cold on my arm and I saw that it was Edward's hand.

He was kneeling by my bed.

"Bella, I have waited so long for you. You don't know how long. Then one selfish move from myself took that all away. I need you. I love you." he sounded like he was crazy the way he was talking and how fast he was talking.

"And I'm sorry Bella but I can't live without you. I know that we talked about you growing up and dying at an old age like it should be, and me along side you. But I cannot picture a world without you. Oh. I know that I would kill myself. But what if I go to hell, like I know I will, and you go to heaven, like I know you will? Then what am I supposed to do? Kill myself from hell?"

His talk started to scare me and I found myself flinching away. His voice was a beautiful whisper, a creepy beautiful whisper. My eyes found his and he wouldn't let them go.

"So, love, I am truly sorry about this, but, just like the kiss, you can't stop me and I can't help it…I'm too weak. You make me strong… And I'm hoping you'll forgive me someday…"

His voice trailed off and he looked at me so tenderly that I thought I was going to cry.

Then, with great force and speed, his mouth, once again found mine.

His tongue was exploring my whole mouth. I kissed him back even though I didn't know what he was talking about or what was happening. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around Edward. He let me, which was unusual and he pressed my body against his.

His mouth left mine and trailed down my neck. I felt his teeth graze over my skin, and then his nose. "I'm sorry love…" he said before biting into my neck.

At first it didn't hurt. It felt nice and warm. But then the warmth turned to fire. Edward's teeth left my neck and he kissed where he had bit. Before I could start screaming, his mouth covered mine.

But, the kiss was not enough to stop the continually increasing pain, and it was cut short by my scream.

"EDWARD!!!" I heard a little pixie voice yell, furious and scared.

_Alice._

**Another chapter done! And I'm starting the next chapter right… NOW!**


	6. Heart Beats

**Next Chapter- lol, this is my second time writing this because my laptop died before I could save it, I think this one is better though.**

From last chapter:

_But, the kiss was not enough to stop the continually increasing pain, and it was cut short by my scream._

"_EDWARD!!!" I heard a little pixie voice yell, furious and scared. _

_Alice__._

Chapter 6

Bella POV

"EDWARD! I can't believe you just did that!" I heard Alice yell. My eyes were closed from the pain, I wasn't screaming right now though.

"Edward! Move! Let me to her!" I heard a loud growl and felt something cold cover me.

I realized that it was Edward's body. He was protecting me…

Then I blacked out.

Alice POV

I can't believe he just bit her! What is _wrong_ with him?? Of course I'm happy though, I've always wanted Bella to become a vampire, but not against her will!

Edward stood there looking at me as I came closer. I could tell he wasn't going to move.

He came home about 3 hours ago extremely depressed and told me on his way up to his room, "my existence as I knew it before is over…"

I had a vision of, well, this, and came running.

"Edward! Move! Let me to her!" I yelled. I had to make sure she was okay. He would have been more careful if he wasn't in his crazy- obsessed mode right now.

A loud, possessive growl erupted from his chest and came through his mouth. I flinched back but then stood up straight again. "Edward." I cautioned.

He couldn't get too angry near Bella. Who knows what he would do…

His body covered Bella's and my face twisted in horror. He was serious about protecting her from me?

Just then, as if on cue Emmet and Jasper came into Bella's room through the window. It was a good thing Charlie wasn't home…

Jasper started to whimper because of Edward's aggressive-possessive emotions coming off of him.

There was so much for him to handle that he accidentally ended up sending waves to Emmet and I.

He quickly calmed everyone down, except Edward, which was good because I can only imagine what would happen with four aggressive-obsessive vampires in a room with a may or may not be dying human.

Emmet grabbed Edward and tried to pry him off of Bella who was starting to whimper. Edward let out another nasty growl and it took Jasper, Emmet, and I to pry him off.

Jasper, who was the more experienced fighter, pushed Edward out the window and kept Edward occupied with fighting while Emmet and I checked over Bella.

"I called Carlisle at home and he's coming back from hunting in about an hour." Emmet said. I nodded and checked Bella's pulse.

"It's speeding, that's good." Emmet nodded, "Yeah, that's good." he said in agreement.

We started talking about where to bring her, either leave her here or move her to our house, when we were interrupted by a horrible screech.

Our eyes went wide and we looked at Bella. She was convulsing hard.

"Okay, I don't think that's good." said Emmet. Just then Edward jumped into the room followed by Jasper.

Emmet grabbed Edward automatically. Edward growled. "Let him go. He's okay now." said Jasper.

Emmet let go of him and Edward ran to Bella. He picked her up, which looked hard since she was convulsing even harder now.

"What's happening to her?" Edward asked frantically. "Where the hell is Carlisle?"

No one answered him and he jumped out the window. We followed him as he ran back to the house cradling Bella.

We got inside and Carlisle was clearing off the kitchen table, setting up his medical gear. He saw us come in and looked at Bella, who was still convulsing.

"Is this normal?" I asked, worried. Carlisle looked up at me grimaced and shook his head.

"WHAT!!?!?! NO SHE'S NOT GOING TO DIE!!!!" Edward yelled, having read Carlisle's mind. He placed Bella on the table gently and stood back a step. "Carlisle! Fix her!"

Carlisle checked her pulse. "Edward, how long were you biting her for?"

"I don't know…" Edward answered quietly. Esme grabbed his hand, even Rosalie stood watching with a worried expression.

"Well! What's wrong with her?!?! Is she changing!?!?" Carlisle looked at Edward and sighed. "Edward, she's lost too much blood, there's not enough to take the venom… I'm sorry…"

"NO! CHECK AGAIN!" Edward yelled hysterically. Esme and I were dry sobbing, leaning against the wall.

As if on cue, Bella gave one last convulse and then her head fell limp along with her arms and legs. Her face became frozen and she looked… peaceful.

Edward's face, however went blank.


	7. Gone Forever

Alice POV

The next few days were extremely painful. Edward wouldn't come out of his room, and we had to find somewhere to put Bella's body. We settled for just laying her in the woods near her house.

We watched over her body until heartbroken Charlie found her body.

He gave her CPR while waiting for the ambulance; little did he know she had been dead for two days now.

Those two days were hardest of all. Edward wouldn't let anyone near Bella's body and he kept her safe in his room with her.

Whenever someone would knock on his door or come in he would growl until they left. We watched him from outside.

It was heartbreaking (no pun intended) to watch him stroke her hair and kiss her lips ever so carefully as if she was still alive.

Finally, with Emmet, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie circling him at one corner of the room, I was able to take Bella to the woods.

Edward ripped up everyone's clothes trying to get to her yelling the whole time, "She's not dead! She's still changing!"

We could tell that he didn't believe this himself though from the way his voice was strangled and broken.

Bella was announced dead before the ambulance even got to the hospital. We were invited to attend her funeral and we watched her casket being buried. Even Rosalie went and dressed in black.

Edward was a mess that day. He wouldn't talk to anyone and his face held a new blank off expression.

We were all mourning her death, especially Edward. I couldn't help thinking this was partly my fault for not getting there sooner.

24/7 we were watching Edward to make sure he didn't run of to the Volturri.

The Edward we all knew and loved was gone forever…

**HELL YES!! Four chapters at once!!!!1 WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Coffins

**HI. Okay, I know you are all probably mad at me for not updating for so long but here is what happened: my internet wasn't working for like a month and my dad was away on a business trip and my mom never got around to trying to fix it or call someone because she was called away on a case for like two weeks… CSI stuff, I don't know.**

**But, you probably don't want my excuses, you just want the next chapters! Thank you all for being so patient. Oh and even though the internet didn't work didn't mean that Word didn't work so I have about six or so chapters to post right NOW!!!!!!!!!!!**

2 WEEKS LATER

Someone's POV

My eyes opened.

Where was I?

Am I dreaming?

Where ever I was, it was dark. I went to pinch my skin to see if I _was_ dreaming but I couldn't… it was too hard.

I lifted up my arm to stretch but it hit something hard, and I realized it was the ceiling.

Where the hell was I?

Oh my god! Was I kidnapped?!?!?!

Damn it!!!!! Edward's going to kill me!!!!!!!

_Edward…_

Crap. What happened? I tried to remember back as much as I could.

Okay… he came back and apologized for kissing me and for _everything_, then he left before I could say… something… Oh yeah, that I loved him.

And I went up to my room… I was dreaming. Wait, no I _thought_ I was dreaming but I wasn't…? Yeah, that sounds right.

I gasped. I remembered it all now! He kissed me and then… bit me!!

Wait! Was I a vampire now?!?!? I felt my skin again.

Oh my gosh! It was cold and hard! Wow! I don't know what they were talking about it hurting. I didn't feel a thing. That I can remember.

This still didn't explain where I was though.

I tried to move to look around but this box thing I was in was too small. Maybe I wasn't fully transformed yet and I would soon open my eyes to see Edward standing over me.

I smiled at this thought.

I can't believe that I thought I was getting over Edward. How could I ever be over him? I don't _want _to ever be over him. He was my everything, even if I wasn't his, although I'm pretty sure he said that was a mistake.

"Ha ha!" I laughed out loud when I realized that he wouldn't have changed me if he didn't love me.

This thought comforted me so much that I wished I would actually wake up now so I could kiss and forgive him.

Thinking about his lips gave me tingles up and down my arms. Maybe I was waking up!

I closed my eyes tight and opened them, thinking that I would see him. But, nothing changed.

"Ugh!" I groaned. So maybe I wasn't where I thought I was. Then where was I?

I punched the ceiling really hard and to my delight, I punched a hole through it. Then to my horror and disgust, a bunch of dirt came through onto me.

Wait, dirt? Oh my god, was I underground? Why?

I looked closer at what I was concealed in with my new vampire strength eyes and realized I was in a coffin.

It scared me a bit because I thought I was dead. After a few minutes of confusion and hyperventilating I came to two conclusions:

I was in a coffin underground…

And I had to get out!

I punched another hole through the ceiling for some reason forgetting that dirt was going to come down. So after another few minutes with getting the dirt out of my eyes and mouth, I tore off the top of the coffin.

Thankfully, the dirt was too packed to fall down this time.

I started to dig through the dirt and finally I freed myself. I jumped out and found that I was in the middle of a field. I didn't know where though.

I looked around and saw a sign that said Phoenix, Arizona Cemetery. Phoenix! I immediately thought about the sun. I looked up at the sky and saw to my relief that the sun was going down, so it wasn't strong enough to make me sparkle enough for people to notice.

I started to dust off my jeans that I was buried in. I went to my shirt and laughed a high soprano laugh that I wasn't used to when I saw that I was dressed in my blue blouse- Edward's favorite color on me.

Thinking of Edward got me excited and I turned to start toward the road and when I did I saw that there were three people watching me with wide eyes near the fence.

I smiled sweetly and pretended to rub my arm.

"Ha, ha. How did I fall in there?" I said in a fake surprised voice. They were still watching, but when I started to walk away, so did they.

I ran to the airport with my newly acquired speed. I waited in line, not even out of breath.

When I stepped up to the counter I saw a man behind the counter who was probably about 25. He did a double take when he saw me.

"Hey there. Where you goin' babe?" I tried to refrain from rolling my eyes.

"Washington." I said, trying to move this along.

"No, she is going to Italy." I looked to the side and saw Aro, Jane, and Alex standing there.

"Is that your dad?" the man asked me. "No." I replied quickly.

"Boyfriend?" he asked while looking disgusted at that thought. I felt disgusted too.

"Um no." I replied quickly again.

"Oh, so do you have a boyfriend? A pretty girl like you shouldn't be alone in this kind of a world."

I didn't know what to say, "Yes I do. Now, one to Washington, please."

Aro walked next to me, "Don't be silly, Isabella. You are coming to Italy." Aro looked at the man pointedly, waiting for him to give me my ticket.

I looked at Aro and the way his eyebrows were cocked made me feel like something would happen if I didn't comply.

"I'm sorry, yes. One to Italy, please." I said in a robotic voice.

I got my ticket and boarded the plane, sitting between Jane and Aro.

"May I?" he asked, putting out his hand. I knew what he wanted so I gave him my hand. He closed his eyes but opened them soon.

"Still nothing?" I asked, remembering the last encounter I had had with Aro when he came to visit the Cullen's. He told Edward that I was to be changed or they would kill me.

Aro smiled at me politely and gave me my hand back.

"I am so glad to see that little Edward kept to his word." Aro said, talking about my being a vampire.

I looked down; obviously he didn't know what had happened between Edward and me.

"What is the matter young Isabella?" he asked. Jane was glaring at me. She was used to being Aro's favorite.

"Edward… left me." I said.

"So I've heard. But I've also heard that he went back to you, begging for forgiveness."

I looked up at Aro, how would he know that unless… Oh no…

Aro must have seen my scared expression. "That's right Isabella, or as I heard, you like to be called Bella?" I nodded, "Right, well your beloved Edward paid my family and me a visit asking for something that not most ask for: death. I was confused at first, and Edward wasn't talking. Finally, when his family had caught up to him and explained to me his situation, I just had to see your gravestone for myself so I would know if they were trying to pull the wool over my eyes."

I waited for him to say the dreadful words. I bit my lip.

"Don't fret Bella. I did not allow dear Edward to be destroyed. Carlisle is very dear to me; I could not hurt him like that."

I let out a big breath that I did not realize I had been holding in.

"So," he continued with his story, "I went to your grave with Jane and Alex here, but when we got there, it was empty. Your coffin had been torn to shreds. I figured you escaped."

"Escaped?!?" I interrupted him. Does that mean that they _meant _to bury me?? My dead heart died more.

"Oh dear Bella. You see, Edward tried to change you two weeks ago. Your change lasted _two weeks_! That's a record. You should be proud. But anyways, your heart stopped and you showed no sign of life, or vampirism, for three days. They figured you had died during the process because you didn't have enough blood."

I smiled. At least they didn't bury me because they didn't want me.

"Your poor Edward. Alice told me that he wouldn't let go of your dead body for days. They had to attack him to get him to let go." Aro stopped here and chuckled.

My eyes widened at this and Aro let me ponder this.

"Are they still here?" I asked when we got off the plane.

"That I am not sure about. They of course don't know that you are still alive, or undead. I hope that they didn't leave. I would so love to see your special family reunion. Especially with Edward."

I smiled at the thought of reuniting with them, especially Edward. I just hoped that they were still there.

"No bags, Bella? Oh yes! I forgot. You were underground." Aro laughed at his joke and I saw Alex roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye.

I smiled. Nothing could bring me down today, except one thing.

**I think that this is one of the last chapters… **


	9. Cullen's

**Here you go!!**

Bella POV

Aro handed me a dark robe like the one he was wearing when we ran up to the city gates. I put it on. The smell was familiar and the robe was cold.

Aro watched me smell it and chuckled. I looked up and would have blushed at him seeing me smell the robe if I wasn't a vampire and so couldn't blush.

"Does that smell familiar to you, Bella?" I smiled, embarrassed.

"Yes, that is the robe that Edward wore." I followed Aro, Jane, and Alex through the crowded streets to his building, my nose buried in the robe smelling Edward's wonderful scent the whole way.

We stopped outside of what I assumed was his home.

"Now Bella, this is extremely important. No one can know who you are until we are inside my chamber with my brothers."

"Why?" I questioned, confused. "Let's just say that there are a lot of vampires around here who are not too fond of your Edward right now for causing distress to them by trying to get himself… destroyed." he replied.

"What does that have to do with me?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, they all know that you are his, so they will try to kill you if they know who you are."

My face blanked as we walked. I was glad that I had a reason now to bury my face in the robe.

We were walking through the small hallway in the building. "Block your minds, young ones, and Bella. Even if you see the Cullen's, they can't know who you are either, especially Edward. We don't want them to cause a scene, and we can't let something happen to you before Edward gets to see you!" Aro touched my nose.

I was surprised at how fragile his skin felt.

Something Aro said made me worried, even though I didn't know if it meant anything:

"_We can't let something happen to you before Edward gets to see you!" _

Before?

I let this go as we got closer and the scent from the robe got stronger for some reason. Jane walked behind me and put my hood up.

Then I saw the reason for the hood and the scent, the Cullen's were in the room we were going to walk through. My unbeating heart stuttered, my day was instantly brightened.

Aro grabbed my arm and told me to look straight ahead. I did as I was told. We were about to walk right passed them. I peeked at them from the corner of my eye.

First, I saw Rosalie filing her nails, leaning against the wall. She was standing next to Emmet who was keeping a firm hand on Jasper. Alice also had her hand on Jasper, but in a more loving touch.

Carlisle and Esme were sitting together on a couch that looked extremely uncomfortable. I wonder if comfort matters to vampires.

They were all looking at the love of my life and the reason for my life or, well, existence. Edward. I smiled and I could feel tears that wouldn't fall coming to the brink of my eyes.

I forgot about Aro's warning and started to turn towards them to see Edward who was also sitting on the edge of a chair. His head in his hands. He sat so still that I wanted to go and shake him to make him move.

I found out why Aro grabbed my arm with his hand and left it there. He pulled me back roughly. Too roughly, my foot tripped over my other one when he pulled me back, still walking. My shoe made a noise that would have been quiet, but was loud now that I was a vampire. All of the Cullen's glanced up at the sudden noise.

I looked down, the hood falling more over my face so they couldn't see me. Wouldn't they just smell my smell? I wondered. Alex must have known what I was thinking because he came to my other side and pointed to the robe pocket.

I pulled out a bunch, about twenty or so, car fresheners, all different scents. I smiled.

"Carlisle." I heard Aro greet him. I saw Aro's head tilt down and his eyes met mine. He smiled slightly and then looked at Alex.

He seemed to know what Aro was saying and Aro let go of my arm. I looked up, away from the Cullen's as I saw Alex and Jane walking away. Aro pushed me a little so that I would follow them.

I followed them into the other room, I figured it was the chamber because there were two older vampires in there.

"Don't take off your robe yet." said Jane. I turned around and saw that the Cullen's still had a clear view of us and they were watching.

I heard Aro talking to them. "Carlisle, I would like if you and your family joined me and mine in my chamber before you leave."

I closed my eyes, hoping that they would agree.

"Edward, I would like you to meet someone I think you might be interested in…" Aro hinted.

I heard a loud growl and then Edward said "I'm fine on my own, Aro. Thanks so much."

I could only picture Edward's furious expression. My 'heart' fluttered when I heard that.

"We will come and say goodbye to your family, but please, for the sake of my family, leave my son out of this… he isn't ready for this yet-" Carlisle started.

"And I never will be. There's only one person out there for me and she's dead because of me. It's all my fault. Could you please rethink your decision on killing me please? I _will_ find a way, regardless- Alice don't- it would just save my family trouble this way." Edward said in a voice so pained that it literally killed me.

I turned around, not caring about them seeing me, I had to make sure they came in here, I couldn't just let them leave.

"Edward, I don't think you really want that." Aro stated simply.

"Yes. Yes, Aro I do really want that. If I can't live with Bella, then I won't live at all." Edward said even more simply. My eyes burned and I started dry sobbing silently.

_Please, don't leave!!!_ I pleaded in my mind.

"I think we are just going to leave now Aro…" said Carlisle. I was waiting for Aro to make them come in here, but all he said was "Alright, well I do hope to see you soon. Farewell."

None of the Cullen's moved. They were all still looking at Edward. _No._

"Edward. Are we leaving, or are we saying goodbye?" asked Rosalie harshly. _Staying._

"Leaving." Edward said roughly. _NO!_

They started getting up. _NO!!_

"No," I said, with so much hurt in my voice. The Cullen's looked up at me. The hood was still covering most of my face, but I could still see them.

"Well, if you must leave, then you should go now. The sun is going down, you might not have to wear the robes." said Aro. Why is he trying to get them to leave??

"Right." said Carlisle they started towards the door. I walked forward while Jane grabbed my robe, trying to hold me back.

"No! Don't leave! Don't!" The Cullen's turned around again. They were looking at me and I realized that they still didn't know who I was. I looked at Aro for permission to take off the robe.

"Don't." he said, "Now, don't cause a seen."

The Cullen's were still standing there, watching and listening to our exchange.

"What? Why? No one else is here!" I argued. I went to take off the hood but another vampire came from behind me and grabbed my arm.

"Aro!" I said pointedly.

"I am sorry Isabella-"

"Isabella?!?!" "Isabella?" "Isabella?!!!" My name was said together in a chorus while the Cullen's tried to put it together.

It was Edward who realized.

"Bella." he breathed. He was in front of me faster than I've ever seen him run before. He lifted off the hood and studied my face. His lips moved into my crooked smile.

"Bella." he said again, his voice full of happiness and no longer the torture and pain there was before. I grabbed my arm out of the guard vampire's hand behind me and whipped my arms around Edward's neck.

He grabbed around my waist and picked me off the ground. The rest of the Cullen's came up and I let go of Edward to hug them all, even Rosalie.

Edward grabbed me back before anyone else could snatch me.

"Let's leave now, Carlisle." Edward said, smiling down at me. I smiled back as Carlisle turned to Aro, "may we? It seems we have a reunion to celebrate now."

Aro smiled and looked at me. "You take care Bella. And Edward, take care of her, don't lose her." Aro smiled but Edward didn't. He scowled.

**Another chapter done!! **


	10. Plane Rides

**Here's your next chapter:**

Bella POV

We walked out to the cars. Rose, Emmet, Jasper, and Alice all got into Rosalie's convertible and Esme and Carlisle got in Carlisle's black car.

Edward pulled me along beside him to his Volvo. He opened the passenger door for me and was in the driver's side faster than he usually was.

I wanted to think that he went so fast because he didn't want to let me out of his sight, but I still wasn't sure.

Edward pulled out of the parking lot before the others. It worried me though that he wasn't talking or looking at me and I started to wonder if he regretted changing me.

I hoped he didn't because _I_ didn't regret him changing me. I was glad to be able to spend eternity with him, if he wanted me for eternity.

I almost laughed when we walked up to the ticket counter and it was the same guy. He looked at me and again I had to refrain from rolling my eyes.

"Came back for me, babe?" I narrowed my eyes. He looked scared and I thought _gees, maybe I look too much like a vampire…. _Until I realized he wasn't looking at me. I looked at Edward but he just shrugged innocently.

Edward POV

We walked up to the ticket counter and there was a guy who looked about 25 or so and was _way_ too cocky.

I had to clench my fists so I wouldn't punch him when he looked at _my_ Bella.

He said to Bella, "came back for me, babe?"

That bothered me, and I clenched my fists tighter. If there weren't hundreds of people here….

_Damn! I bet she's a good lay!_

Now THAT bothered me. Bella's eyes narrowed but it wasn't menacing. It just made her look cuter.

When I narrowed _my _eyes and scowled, I was pretty sure _I_ was menacing.

_OH SHIT! What the hell is wrong with this guy?? I'm not walking out of here alone!!!!!! Damn… I bet that's her boyfriend she told me about…Why are all the good ones taken??_

She has a boyfriend!?!? Was she talking about me?!?!? I hope so… but that _would_ explain why she didn't take me back.

It sure as HELL better not be Newton!!! I'll rip his throat out if he hurts her!!

Bella POV

We got our tickets and Carlisle passed them around. I turned towards Edward. His expression shocked me. He was looking at the ground and didn't know I was watching him.

His face was so torn and sad…. His eyebrows were knitted together like he was deep in thought. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was trying to hold back tears.

This saddened me because I didn't know if he was upset that I was coming back with them… what if he had wanted me to stay with Aro? What if he hates me now because I didn't kiss or take him back??

Right now I was really regretting that…

Edward looked up and his eyes met mine. I wanted to look away but his eyes locked mine on his and wouldn't let me go. He looked so hurt…. His eyes studied mine, trying to read them but I looked away before he could read too deep.

I didn't want him to know that I was still madly in love with him if he didn't love me anymore.

Alice POV

Carlisle handed me my ticket, I was so happy to be going home with Bella!!! There was Soooo much shopping we had to do to make up for these past weeks!!!

I was about to tell her about our shopping plans when I saw her and Edward in one of their eye lovey-dovey-locked-in-love looks. I walked closer and was about to say, "break it up, you to." when I noticed that this wasn't their usual eye lock looks.

It seemed deeper, and more pained.

We were worried about him, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, and me. We didn't know why he hadn't kissed her yet. We were sure he was going to when he snatched her back back at the Volturri's house, but he didn't.

We knew he was not over her at all. The saying absence makes the heart grow founder was totally true with Edward. But for some reason, it seemed something was holding him back.

Worst of all, I couldn't see their future….

Bella POV

The plane ride was long and uncomfortable. First, Edward sat next to me, which I would have liked if he talked to me, but it was just like the car ride. It seemed like he was trying his best to ignore me.

The only time he did talk to me was when Emmet was telling me all about how I wouldn't be clumsy anymore and that I would be boring. Edward said in a flat tone, "she'll never be boring, Emmet." He wasn't directly talking to me, but he was still talking_ about_ me….

I tuned out after Emmet and Edward started having a conversation in their heads.

The plane finally landed and we got back into the cars that were carried over by the planes. **(LOL I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF THAT'S WHAT THEY DO, BUT I HAD TO FIND A WAY FOR THEM TO GET THE CARS BACK)**

I wasn't sure if I should still ride with Edward or with Alice instead. I would have rathered Edward, but I still wasn't sure what was up with him and I didn't want to make it worse.

I followed him to the Volvo in silence. I was really getting tired of all this silence so I was about to try to make some small meaningless conversation when he all the sudden turned around. He was standing next to the passenger door and I thought he was going to open it.

But, once again, his expression shocked me as it had so many times that night. His expression looked torn and I immediately thought of before we were dating and he walked me to gym. His face was so saddened and pained and he had glided the back of his hand against my cheek. I could remember it perfectly clear since I was a vampire and looking at his expression now, they looked almost the same.

_Almost._

There was a hint of something new this time, and the only word I could find for it was love… but I could have been just imagining things….

There was a gust of wind that blew a strand of hair in my face. Edward, his eyes never leaving mine with the same expression, took the strand lightly in his fingers and brushed it behind my ear. His fingers strayed on my cheek for a while and then his hand fell.

He turned, but I saw his eyes close and he sighed sadly. He opened my door for me and I got in. Once again, he was in the drivers side in a flash.

I found this hardly fair. Why couldn't he just tell me his intentions and how he felt? He was always asking me what I was thinking, couldn't I ask him the same?

After driving in silence for 10 minutes, I finally got up the courage to ask.

"Edward?"

"Mmmm?"

"What are you… thinking?"

I saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he was about to smile, but then it died.

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair.

"That I'm sorry."

He looked at me pointedly. I didn't know what to say, mainly because I didn't know what he was sorry about; leaving me… or changing me?

I looked out my window. I could feel his gaze on me, but I didn't dare look at him. I didn't know what he would see in my eyes if I did…

I could tell that he was going to say something more, but, unfortunately, his cell phone rang. He picked it up.

"Yes, Carlisle? Sure…" he handed me the phone.

I put it up to my ear.

_Bella?_

"Yes?"

_Bella, have you… hunted?_

I almost dropped the phone. I hadn't even thought of that, and I was on that plane with all those people….

"No…" I said in a whisper.

_Are you thirsty? Is there a burn in the back of your throat?_

"Kind of."

_Okay, could I please speak with Edward?_

"Sure"

I handed the phone back to Edward.

Edward, having heard what Carlisle and I had said, was looking at me shocked.

I held out the phone to Edward. "Here!" I said when he didn't take it.

He grabbed the phone and put it to his ear.

"Yes?"

_You need to bring Bella hunting, Edward._

"No, I-"

_It'll be fine Edward. You don't have to go with her. Just bring her to a spot where there are no people, preferably in the middle of the forest. Her instincts will take over, she'll be fine._

Edward sighed, his hand swept through his hair, and he closed his eyes.

"Fine."

He hung up the phone and put it in the pocket of his jacket. I stared out my window. I couldn't help but to replay his answer to Carlisle's demand.

What did he mean by _no_? No he didn't want to take me hunting? Why, though? I bit my bottom lip, so I wouldn't make any noises from the tears that wouldn't ever fall.

**Thanks for reading, please review and no flames because if you don't like it, then don't read it. **


	11. The Phone Call

Edward POV

We got off the plane and started walking towards the car. I spent the whole plane ride watching her from the corner of my eye. I was exceptionally happy that she was back with me, but I still wasn't sure if that's what she wanted.

This is one of the times that I wished the most I could read her mind.

She followed me to the Volvo in silence. I really wanted to break that silence, but I didn't know what to say.

I had to be careful what I said around her because I didn't know what she would have thought about it.

I reached the passenger door. I wanted to just bring out the fact that I was still madly in love with her, but deep inside, I was scared of her response. What if she really didn't love me anymore?

I thought that I would have gone to the Volturri and ask for death if she didn't. I couldn't imagine living in a world without Bella's love. I figured that Bella would end up stopping me probably, unless, I thought with horror, she didn't love me, hated me even, and didn't care….

I turned around fast to face Bella. I didn't know why though.

Looking at Bella's shocked and bewildered face made me even sadder to think that there's a chance that I was losing her. A good chance, at that.

I was looking into her eyes when a gust of wind blew hair in her face. I was excited for a reason to touch her. I pinched the strand between my fingers and swept it behind her ear. My unbeating heart thrummed excitedly at the light touch and my fingers strayed on her cheek.

My fingers wanted to move to her lips; trace them lightly. But, I dropped my hand when I started thinking about my lips on hers, moving in sync with her full lips.

I turned around and my eyes closed. I sighed, half taking in her scent, half from depression.

I opened her door then went to the drivers' side.

I could tell Bella was deep in thought while I drove, I just wondered what about.

Finally, she broke the silence.

"Edward?" she asked, I could tell she was nervous and hesitant.

"Mmmm?" I answered back.

"What are you… thinking?" she finished.

I started to smile when I remembered all the times at had asked her that same question, but it fell when I started thinking about those times before I left.

I was hesitant to answer that. I breathed out and my hand automatically went through my hair.

Bella was watching me waiting for an answer so I said what I felt.

"That I'm sorry." I watched her look out the passenger window. I begged her silently to say something… anything.

I watched her as she thought this over in her head. She looked so beautiful… and pained that I wanted to reach out and pull her to me. I wanted her head to come in contact with my shoulder, and her lips in contact with mine.

She looked more pained as she still thought it over so I opened my mouth to explain that I was sorry for leaving her and that I loved her so much, too much, when my phone rang.

I looked at the id and saw it was Carlisle.

"Yes, Carlisle?"

_Can I talk to Bella, Edward?_

"Sure…"

I handed Bella the phone.

_Bella?_

"Yes?"

_Bella, have you… hunted?_

My eyes widened. How could we have forgotten about that?

"No…" she whispered into the phone.

_Are you thirsty? Is there a burn in the back of your throat?_

"Kind of."

_Okay, could I please speak with Edward?_

"Sure."

She looked towards me. I looked at her eyes. They weren't red or black. They looked… gold.

"Here!" Bella said, annoyed when I didn't take the phone. I put it to my ear.

"Yes?"

_You need to bring Bella hunting, Edward._

What? I thought. I can't bring a newborn hunting! I wouldn't know what to do! Carlisle was always the one that taught us which smells to ignore. Most importantly, I didn't want to disappoint Carlisle when Bella killed a human because of me.

"No, I-"

_It'll be fine Edward. You don't have to go with her. Just bring her to a spot where there are no people, preferably in the middle of the forest. Her instincts will take over. She'll be fine._

"Fine." I hung up the phone, slightly annoyed. I didn't want to disappoint Bella, either. She'll hate me even more if she killed a human because of me.

I looked at Bella to tell her that we were going to stop so she could hunt but the words stuck in my throat.

She was looking out her window, biting her lip. She looked so sad that the will to touch her was even bigger now. I pulled the car over on the side of the road near the woods. Neither of us moved.

I was arguing with myself in my head to comfort her, but, since I didn't know what had upset her, I didn't know if my touch would comfort her or not.

**Sorry this chapter is kind of short… but the next one is on the way! **


	12. Fall For You

_So, this one is not a song fic, but there is a song in it. It's Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade. _

Edward pulled over on the side of the road. I didn't move and neither did he. I was biting my lip so hard that I was afraid I would break the skin, but of course, I couldn't.

"Bella…?" Edward asked softly.

I looked at him, willing for him to say those three words that would make everything right again, but he didn't.

I opened my door and stepped out. Hugging my jacket to me, I followed Edward through the woods. We started running when we were far enough into the woods and no one would see us. I couldn't help but to smile as I ran, feeling the wind in my hair and on my face.

I had incredible speed, but Edward was faster so he slowed down everyone once in a while to make sure I was keeping up.

Suddenly, I smelt something really good and the burn in my throat grew worse. I slowed to a stop and Edward walked up to me.

"That's a deer. It's right over there. After you're full, come back to the car, I'll wait for you in the car, okay?"

I nodded my head, still not sure if I could talk without losing it. I watched him run away sadly. I really wasn't that thirsty right now but I followed the deer anyway.

An hour and two deer drained later, I ran through the woods back to the car. Edward sat in his seat, looking out his window watching the cars pass him. I walked slowly, staring at his face.

It looked so peaceful right now. There were no pained lines on his feature right now. He looked like the Edward I knew before he left me.

He must have smelled me, or heard me walking towards him because he turned around and smiled a sad smile when he saw me. I smiled back and got in.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah…." I answered and sighed contently. He chuckled. It wasn't a happy chuckle, it was a mixture of sadness, pain, and it also had a hint of being dark.

I started to wonder if we would ever talk about what happened because I sure as hell was not going to bring it up.

Edward POV

Bella got in the car and I started to drive off. My hand automatically went to the heat switch, since it was cold out. I always turned on the heat all the way for Bella so she wouldn't be cold. But, then I remembered that she was a vampire and so she wouldn't get cold.

A song came on the radio that the DJ announced as a brand new song. The radio wasn't on my usual station, so many of the songs playing I didn't know.

**(A/N: I know it's not new, I just wanted to put that in. HA HAH HAHAHAH)**

_Best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting._

_Could it be that we have been this way before…._

_I know you don't think that I am trying,_

_I know you're worried thin down to the core._

_But hold your breath, because_

_Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again, don't make me change my mind._

_Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true._

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find, you're impossible to find._

I laughed without humor mentally. It wasn't too long ago that I was thinking about how I would go to the Volturri for death if Bella didn't love me anymore.

_This is not what I intended._

_I always swore to you I'd never fall apart._

_You always thought that I was stronger,_

_I may have failed but I have loved you from the start._

I hoped Bella was listening to the song and realized that I _have_ loved her from the start, and that I would never stop. I wanted to tell her this, make her believe it because it was true. It's also funny how Bella always did think that I was stronger than to have to leave her, even if she doesn't know the real reason behind me leaving her….

_But hold your breath, because_

_Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again, don't make me change my mind._

_Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true._

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find, it's impossible,_

_So breathe in so deep_

_Breath me in I'm yours to keep_

_And hold on to your words because talk is cheap_

_And remember me tonight when you're asleep._

I will and always will be Bella's to keep so long as she still wants me, which I was crossing my fingers for.

Talk _is_ cheap. It was cheap when I told her I didn't love her. That's absurd! How could I _not_ love Bella?

_Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again, don't make me change my mind._

_Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true._

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find._

_Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you._

_Over again, don't make me change my mind._

_Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true._

_Because a girl like you is impossible to find,_

_You're impossible to find…._

I looked at Bella out of the corner of my eye. She was looking straight ahead and her face was blank.

Oh, Bella. When are you going to see and understand that I love you with all of my cold heart? I can't live without you….

_Another chapter finished!! Review!!!_


	13. Unbeautiful

_There's another song in this one, I hope you don't mind. I like to write them with songs, but once again, this isn't really a song fic. The song is Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy. If you don't know it, I would suggest you listen to it while you read this. Well, the part that has the song… so … yeah._

Bella POV

We pulled up to the Cullen's house and I got out. Edward walked along side me, but I could tell he was trying not to touch me which I didn't understand. Had he moved on?

I wanted to close that space by grabbing his hand or arm, but I didn't know if that would be crossing a line.

Everyone was in the house already. Alice ran up to me, and I saw her look at the space between us confused and sad. I looked down.

I saw Edward's eyes narrow at Alice, and I knew they were communicating mentally. I could only imagine what he had narrowed his eyes at….

Esme came over, put her arm around me and sat me down on the couch in between her and Edward. Everyone else took their places and I knew the questions would start flowing.

"Carlisle, why are Bella's eyes gold already?" asked Emmet.

"I don't know… it could have something to do with her being in a changing state for two weeks, but I don't know what else could have caused the change so fast…"

"How did you get out of the ground, Bella? Did the Volturri dig you up?" asked Jasper.

I smiled, "actually, I kind of climbed out… if you're planning on returning the coffin, you might want to get a new cover." I said to Carlisle.

Everyone smiled, even Edward. The questions went on for hours from Jasper's Volturri army questions, to Emmet's strength questions.

Everyone asked questions, even Rosalie, except Edward, which I was glad for because that meant I didn't have to look at his eyes.

Carlisle stood up along with everyone else. "We're going hunting Bella, would you like to come?" "Yeah! Come with us, Bella!" Alice piped in. "Sure." I said smiling at Alice who was bouncing around.

"Bella! We have to buy you a new wardrobe!!! Are you in Rose?" Rosalie shrugged her shoulders and I rolled my eyes.

Everyone was running through the woods to hunt except Edward, who said he wasn't thirsty.

I was glad that no one brought him up while we hunted. I was finished feeding and Alice threw me her iPod as she ran past.

"Aww!" Emmet whined when I caught it. I stuck my tongue out at him and Rosalie laughed. He was counting on me still being clumsy.

I walked back towards the house. I didn't know if I was staying there or not. Esme already told me I was welcome to stay, but I think that's up to Edward whether or not I stay…

I sat on a tree stump close to the house. I turned on Alice's iPod and hit shuffle.

The first song came up and I almost immediately changed it. It was Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy. I used to love this song until Edward left me… it reminded me of my feelings for Edward.

The only difference was that now I couldn't cry tears…

I listened to it anyways.

_Don't hang up, can we talk._

_So confused, it's like I'm lost._

_What went wrong?_

_What made you go?_

_And don't pretend you don't know._

_This is me, I'm unchangeable…_

I still don't understand why he _did_ leave. He came back and told me that it was a mistake, but how do I know he wasn't just saying that because he felt bad for leaving without a reasonable explanation?

_When did we fall apart?_

_Or did you lie from the start?_

_When you said, 'it's only you',_

_I was blind, such a fool._

_Thinking we were unbreakable…_

I could feel the dry sobs trying to rip their way through my chest. I remember wondering, and I still wonder if he ever loved me at all…

_It was you and me against the world,_

_And you promised me forever more._

_Was it something that I said?_

_Was it something that I did?_

'_Cause I gotta know what made me_

_Unbeautiful…_

The sobs ripped through and escaped through my mouth now. I was glad that no one else was around to hear. I really do want to know what made me 'unbeautiful'…

_I've been told 'what's done is done'._

_To 'let it go and carry on'._

_And deep inside I know that's true,_

_I'm stuck in time, stuck on you._

_When we were still untouchable._

I do know that I should let it go, but I can't…

_It was you and me against the world,_

_And you promised me forever more._

_Was it something that I said?_

_Was it something that I did?_

'_Cause I gotta know what made me_

_Unbeautiful…_

I turned off the iPod and ran to the house. I got a high when I realized that I was going to ask Edward about, well …us.

_HA HA HA HA HA CLIFFIEEEEE I AM SO EVIL AND I AM SO HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!! LOL at first I wrote that I am so high right now and that sent me over the edge and my sister came in because I was laughing sooooooo hard and loud and she was like what the hell? and I pointed to it and she rolled her eyes and walked away. It was sooo funny though!!!!!!!!!! I am really extremely hyper though!!!!!!!!!_

_this is what I wrote at first:_

_HA HA HA HA HA CLIFFIEEEEE I AM SO EVIL AND I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW!!!! _

_L.O.L. omg okay I have to calm down because my hands are shaking now_


	14. Out of my League

_Okay, whew. I am off that hyperness. This one also has a song in it, but was again, IT IS NOT A SONG FIC unless you call Edward Anthony Masen Cullen playing the piano in his awesomely awesome way, then yeah IT'S A SONG FIC _

_okay so maybe I'm not off my hyperness, oh well, that just means I will type faster, but definitely not more efficiently so yeah…OH and the song is Out of My League by Stephen Speaks, and I am asking you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE to listen to the song while you read this or when Edward's solo comes up (that was a pause for applause) even if you know it, which I don't think many people do._

Bella POV

I ran to the back door and stepped inside quietly. I sat at the table, watching Edward. He hadn't seen or heard me come in. He was playing the piano. He was playing a song I didn't know, looking at nothing in particular, thinking.

Then it changed over to my lullaby. I smiled and had to bite my lip again so I wouldn't sob out loud. He would see me if I did, and I just wanted to watch without it becoming awkward.

The lullaby was getting right to the bridge when he switched over to another song that I hadn't heard. He played for a little while, and then, to my surprise, he started to sing along with it.

He sang quietly, but, thanks to me now being a vampire, I could hear it.

"_It's her hair and her eyes today that just simply take me away._

_And the feeling that I'm falling further in love makes me shiver, _

_But in a good way._

_All the times I have sat and stared, _

_As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair _

_And she purses her lips, bats her eyes and she plays with me sitting there_

_Slack- jawed and nothing to say,_

'_Cause I love her, with all that I am,_

_And my voice shakes along with my hands._

'_Cause she's all that I see, _

_And she's all that I need,_

_And I'm out of my league once again…_

My mouth dropped open. He was singing this about _me_? He smiled happily as he went along, lost in his own world, looking up at seemingly nothing. I covered my mouth and held my breath to cover the cry that was trying to escape my mouth.

_It's a masterful melody,_

_When she calls out my name to me._

_As the world spins around her _

_She laughs, rolls, her eyes,_

_And I feel like I'm falling,_

_But it's no surprise_

His voice and the piano playing started to get louder.

'_Cause I love her, with all that I am,_

_And my voice shakes along with my hands._

'_Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea,_

_But I'd rather be here than on land._

_Yes, she's all that I see _

_And she's all that I need_

_And I'm out of my league once again…_

This time, a cry escaped. I was losing it over here, but at least he was too absorbed in the song to hear me. My head was filled with love for him right now, and it felt great to know that his was filled with the same for me.

_It's her hair and her eyes today,_

_That just simply take me away._

_And the feeling that I'm falling further in love_

_Makes me shiver, but in a good way._

_All the times I have sat and stared,_

_As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair,_

_And she purses her lips, bats her eyes and she plays_

_With me sitting there slack-jawed with nothing to say._

'_Cause I love her, with all that I am_

_And my voice shakes along with my hands,_

'_Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea_

_But I'd rather be here than on land_

_Yes, she's all that I see_

_And she's all that I need_

_And I'm out of my league once again..." _

He continued playing for a while, but I knew that he was done singing because he concentrated on the keys.

I was so close to losing it right now. I was holding my breath, biting my lip, and covering my mouth so I wouldn't cry. I knew that this time, if I slipped he would hear me.

But, the more I thought about the words, mostly

""_Cause I love her with all that I am, and my voice shakes along with my hands."_

The more broken sobs tried to rip from me, and as he was playing the last few keys, I couldn't help it. A cry came out. I covered my mouth, hoping that he hadn't heard it, but no such luck.

He turned around and saw me sitting at the table.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I stood up so fast that the chair flipped over and I ran to him. I crashed into him so hard that he stumbled backwards. My arms were wrapped around his neck right when my body crashed to his and his arms whipped around my waist.

Tearless sobs were ripping through me and I couldn't breathe. That was okay though because I didn't need to.

I didn't even think about him not wanting me to kiss him when I crashed my lips to his. I was pretty sure it was okay though when Edward's hands left my waist and went to my face and hair.

His hand knotted around my hair while his other hand stroked my cheek.

Edward broke the kiss wayyy too soon. He chuckled when my lower lip jutted out in a pout. He picked me up so fast and flew up the stairs that I didn't even have a chance to take my lip out of pout mode.

As he ran through the hallway into his room, he kissed my protruding lip. I growled when he did. He only laughed.

He threw me on his bed and was beside me in less than a second. He crouched on top of me without actually putting any weight on me and smiled my favorite crooked smile. I smiled back and his face gently fell to mine. He kissed my forehead, leaving his lips there and I heard him breathe in my scent.

I giggled and he looked down at me with a smile and a wild glint in his eye. His nose traced my collarbone, up to my neck, and then my cheeks. My breathing got heavier while I waited impatiently for his lips to reach mine.

He traded his nose for his lips and skimmed them across my cheek towards my lips. I closed my eyes, knowing that any second his lips would meet mine. When I felt his lips leave my cheek, and not touch down on _my_ lips, I opened my eyes.

His face was mere inches from mine and he kept himself on top of me, still without using any weight. He was smiling like something was so hilarious.

My eyebrows knit together in frustration. Why? Why did he have to do this?

He smiled wider, seeing my frustration and impatience for his lips. He laughed a breathy **(is that a word?!?! lol)** laugh, blowing his sweet scented breath all over my face. My eyebrows were still knit together.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. For all of eternity." he whispered looking down at me.

I smiled. "I love you, too." I said watching his face brighten up. That's when I noticed his eyes. They were pitch black and he had circles under his eyes.

He needed to hunt.

"Edward." I said, tracing the circles. "You need to hunt." Edward grimaced. "I know." he said. "I'll hunt later." I frowned. He looked like he hadn't hunted in a week.

"When was the last time you hunted?" I asked him, curiosity and disproval running through my voice.

He started kissing me again then and I thought he wasn't going to answer until he murmured against my lips, "two weeks?"

Two weeks? _Two weeks!_ I pushed him off me and quickly stood up. He looked shocked and hurt. I almost laid back down to take the pained expression off his features, but I knew that he needed to hunt.

I walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "Edward. You need to hunt." "I know, and I will. Later." He started to pull me back down but I pulled away. "No, Edward. You need to hunt now. Two weeks? What the hell were you thinking Edward?"

Edward smiled sadly. "I wasn't." He stood up with a sigh. "If this is what you want…" I nodded once. He stood up hesitantly and turned to me. He smiled and kissed me quickly. "I love you" he mumbled against me lips, and then ran out the window.

I ran to the window and looked down, "wait! Edward!" He turned around and looked at me. "You're coming back. Right?"

"Of course I am, silly Bella!" then he was gone.

_OMG this was my favorite chapter to write!!!!!!!! I had butterflies while writing so I hope you guys like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! R to the E to the VIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


End file.
